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It was opening night at the Orpheum and the Claude the Amazing Hypnotist was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude took to the stage, he announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It’s a very special watch. Its been in my family for six generations."

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch…. "

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist’s fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"Crap!" said the hypnotist.

It took three weeks to clean up the theater.

After having a little too much to drink, a man drives home from the city, his car weaving violently all over the road, as drunk drivers are prone to do.

A cop pulls him over.

"So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?"

"Why, I’ve been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.

"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you’ve had quite a few to drink this evening."

"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.

"For a minute there, I thought I’d gone deaf."

One night Jack Evans, along with his 3 university friends went out drinkinig till late night, as many college students are prone to do, and didn’t study for their test, which, of course, was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt.

They went up to the dean and explained that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst. They continued to explain how they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

The dean, being a compassionate human being said that they could retake the test after 3 days. The students garaciously replied that they’d be ready by that time.

On the third day, they appeared before the dean. The dean explained that since this was a special test all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the duration of the exam.

They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. The test consisted of 5 questions with total of 100 points:

           MID SEMESTER COURSEWORK EXAMINATION

INSTRUCTIONS :
All questions are required. Any inconsistencies on any of the questions among the four students will result in all the candidates getting a zero mark.

Q.1. Write down your name. —– (2 POINTS)
Q.2. Write the name of the bride and bridegroom at the wedding you attended. —– (30 POINTS)
Q.3. What type of a car were you driving? ——(20 POINTS)
Q.4. Which tire burst? ——- (28 POINTS)
Q.5. Who was driving? —— (20 POINTS)

Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

“Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.”

Little Bobby was a bit of a trouble maker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby’s mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did. Bobby’s mother, being a Christian woman, wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the year.

“Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday. “Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.

LETTER 1

Dear God,

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.

Your Friend,
Bobby

Bobby knew that this wasn’t true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

LETTER 2

Dear God,

I have been an “OK” Boy this year. I still would really like a bike
for my birthday.

Bobby

Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a third letter.

LETTER 3

Dear God,

I know I haven’t been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday please.

Thank you,
Bobby

Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. Now, Bobby was very upset. He went down stairs and told his Mom that he wanted to go to church. Bobby’s mother thought her plan
had worked, as Bobby looked very sad. “Just be home in time for dinner, “ Bobby’s mother told him.

Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the alter. He looked around to see if any one was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of
the Virgin Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the Church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen and
began to write his letter to God.

LETTER 4

God,

I’VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.

Bobby