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According to the story, after every Quantas Airlines flight the pilots complete a ‘gripe sheet’ report, which conveys to the ground crew engineers any mechanical problems on the aircraft during the flight. The engineer reads the form, corrects the problem, then writes details of action taken on the lower section of the form for the pilot to review before the next flight. It is clear from the examples below that ground crew engineers have a keen sense of humor - these are supposedly real extracts from gripe forms completed by pilots with the solution responses by the engineers. Incidentally, Quantas has the best safety record of all the world’s major airlines.

(1 = The problem logged by the pilot.)

(2 = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)

1) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

2) Almost replaced left inside main tire.

      

1) Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

2) Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    

1) Something loose in cockpit.

2) Something tightened in cockpit.

      

1) Dead bugs on windshield.

2) Live bugs on back-order.

      

1) Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

2) Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

      

1) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

2) Evidence removed.

    

1) DME volume unbelievably loud.

2) DME volume set to more believable level.

      

1) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

2) That’s what they’re there for.

    

1) IFF inoperative.

2) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

      

1) Suspected crack in windshield.

2) Suspect you’re right.

    

1) Number 3 engine missing.

2) Engine found on right wing after brief search.

          

1) Aircraft handles funny.

2) Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

          

1) Target radar hums.

2) Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

         

1) Mouse in cockpit.

2) Cat installed.

You don’t actually have to take the quiz. Just read straight through, and you’ll get the point, an awesome one…..

Take this quiz:

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor actress.
6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners. How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel, appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
6. Name half a dozen heroes or scholars whose stories have inspired you. Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

The Clever Italian Mathematician

An recent Italian immigrant to New York wanted a job, but the foreman won’t hire him until he passes a little math test.

“Here’s your first question,” the foreman said. “Without using numbers, represent the number 9.”

“Without numbers?” the Italian says, “Dat is easy.” And he proceeds to draw three trees.

“What’s this?” the boss asks.

“Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine,” says the Italian.

“Fair enough,” says the boss. “Here’s your second question. Use the same rules, but thi s time the number is 99.”

The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has ust drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. “Ere you go.”

The boss scratches his head and says, “How on earth do you get that to represent 99?”

“Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it’s dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99.”

“All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.”

The Italian man stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, “Ere you go. One hundred.”

The boss looks at the attempt. “You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!”

(You’re going to love this one!!!)

The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, “A little dog came along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat make one hundred. So, when I start?”